Happy Saturday friends!

For those that are new, welcome! It's most often fun animals stories around here but the bulk of this post has been rolling around in my mind for a few days and it needed to be released. But don't worry, keep scrolling, there are dive bombing eagles and ospreys, garden beds being prepped, the ever present ponies and mini donkeys, and of course the memes!

This week I've been gardening every few days and luckily at least half of it with a tractor:

Facebook showed me this is tractoring season and gave me a memory from 2017 where I was doing the same thing back on our Colorado farm:

In just a week's time I've managed to move/spread about half of the 19 trees we had taken down and chipped last year:

Thank goodness for the machinery! When my body says, "Enough!" I hop up and move some more chips instead. Down in the lower pasture we have a huge mound of aged compost that I've also been moving as I work on topping off finished beds before the compost. It's all a big job (well, the raking part anyway) but it makes my heart so happy! Here are the beds I finished this week. This tiny little flower bed by the front door:

The giant lantana bed along the drive. It's still too early for the plants to come up but I bet they will be soon:

One of the beds along the sidewalk to the house:

I've spread compost on the bed under the Japanese Maple in the front of the house, now I have to do the wood chip mulch on top. Same for the community garden beds, these are about 12'x5':

This old loblolly pine stood watch while I worked today:

And the ponies and mini donkeys soaked up the sun in the upper pasture nearby:

The birds are coming back in full force now. This is the biggest Great Blue Heron I've ever seen:

And of course the video above with the bald eagle chasing the osprey away from the ponds! Wow! I've never seen that before! Brad and I were out on the far side of the pond and saw the osprey diving to catch fish. So cool. Then I heard a bald eagle scream and it came in with a vengeance, chasing the osprey and almost catching it multiple times, argh! I was surprised at the bald eagle's size compared to the osprey and thankful the osprey had more maneuverability! The osprey did finally escape. It came back a few minutes later and I looked around to see if the bald eagle was still around and it was, way up high, circling both ponds. The osprey quickly left. It's like wild kingdom over here!

Lots of things are popping:

••• 

HOW TO WORK WITH ME:

Equine Partnered Coaching! With horses, without horses, in-person, or online, your choice. 

Neurofeedback Train your brain to calm and ease. The most common response I hear about neurofeedback is, "I'm so much less reactive in my life!" It really does smooth out the sharp spikes. Super helpful if the world feels harsh and spiky to you too right now. 

Reiki Another way to facilitate relaxation, calm, healing. If the weather is nice, you can choose inside, outside, or outside in the herd. 

And of course Women's Circles! The Wednesday circle has a waiting list, I will add you to it if you'd like.

Monday night online art group anyone? Playing with watercolors with other kind women AND in your jammies, no bra, no makeup? Yes please! The current one started Monday, March 16th and there is a drop in option if you'd like to paint just one mouse piece. You can learn all about it and sign up here! 

Don't forget my monthly, online, freebie art watercolor classes! These are for all abilities, even if you think you have NO ability. There is a line drawing to trace and then we saturate our paper with water and play with dropping in colors we like and watching how they dance together. We finish it up with some splatter, a little black outline, and of course, EYELASHES!

Saturday, April 11, 10—11:30am ET, spring foal watercolor
You can sign up here!

•••

My father told me this joke when I was a kid, and I've never forgotten it.

A mother is watching her son march with his military platoon. He's out of step. She leans over to the stranger next to her, beaming with pride, and says: "Look at that! Everyone is out of step except my Billy."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

Last week the United States cast the only "no" vote against a UN reaffirmation of women's rights. Not one of two votes. Not one of five. One out of forty-five nations. The US proposed eight amendments to water down the document. Every single one was voted down. Six countries abstained. Thirty-seven said yes. And somewhere in Washington, I imagine someone looked at that scoreboard and thought: everyone else is out of step.

March 9, 2026 marked the first time in the 70 year history of the annual United Nations Commission on the Status of Women gathering that its “agreed conclusions” were put to a vote rather than adopted by consensus.

What the US objected to:

DEI language: the document used language affirming that women of different races, ethnicities, disabilities, and economic backgrounds face overlapping and compounding discrimination, not just gender discrimination alone. The US objected to the entire DEI framework as “woke” ideology, consistent with Trump’s executive orders banning DEI language across federal agencies. (In case you don't know, "woke" originally came from Black American culture, specifically the civil rights movement. To be "woke" meant to be awake to injustice and to see the world as it actually is for people who are marginalized.)

Climate change effects on women: the document acknowledged that climate upheaval disproportionately impacts women and girls—particularly in developing nations where women are primary farmers, water collectors, and caregivers. When climate disasters hit, women bear the heaviest burden. The CSW was saying that climate policy needs to account for that. The US objected.

AI regulation: the document flagged that technological advancements including AI are enabling new forms of violence and abuse against women—including harassment, the spread of misinformation, and increasing safety risks for young women. The CSW was calling for guardrails. The US administration’s position is aggressively anti-regulation on AI.

Gender definitions: the document used language recognizing gender as distinct from biological sex, consistent with decades of prior UN agreements. The US objected, as per Trump’s executive order declaring that there are only two biological sexes. 

Reproductive health rights: language around reproductive rights has been contested territory at the CSW for years, but phrases like “reproductive rights” and a woman’s “right to have control over and decide freely on all matters related to their sexuality” had been hard won language carried forward from previous CSW agreements. The US wanted to remove it entirely. This was language that 36 other nations had no problem affirming.

What happened to our American values? What happened to basic human rights in the United States? Christian nationalism, that's what.

I think about the countries that used to be our allies in trying to run this world safely and peacefully, who are now turning away from us. They are pushing back by moving forward, actually putting into law the very rights we are busy tearing down. France put the right to abortion directly into their constitution. The European Parliament—twenty-seven democracies speaking with one voice—formally condemned what is happening here. Argentina, Colombia, Mexico—countries we once lectured about human rights—are now the ones expanding freedoms while we contract them.

And I think about the autocratic countries we are now in bed with. Because when you cast the only "no" vote in a room of forty-five nations, you have to ask yourself—who's cheering? Not our democratic allies. It's the governments that have always wanted women smaller, quieter, and easier to control.

That should keep all of us up at night.

I keep thinking about a photograph I saw a few years ago. It was taken in 1971 at the University of Tehran. Young Iranian women walking across their campus in miniskirts, looking exactly like college women anywhere in the Western world during those times. Eight years later, it all changed. The revolution came. The hijab became mandatory. The female Minister of Education was executed by firing squad. Seventy years of progress for women, rolled back virtually overnight. I guarantee you those women in that photograph never thought it could happen to them either.

The photo of the Iranian women is exactly why the SAVE Act terrifies me.

It doesn’t happen all at once. The women in that photograph didn’t wake up one morning and find their world had changed. It happened in bits and pieces so no one suspected. A law here, an executive order there. Language removed from documents most people never read. The rights that felt permanent turned out to only be as permanent as the men in power decided they were.

The SAVE Act has already passed the Republican House of Representatives. It requires proof of citizenship, a passport or birth certificate, to register to vote. It sounds procedural and boring, doesn’t it?

It is neither.

Here is what it really means: 69 million American women changed their name when they married. Their birth certificate, of course, no longer matches their current legal name. The bill is vague about a process for women whose names don’t match, leaving it so legally risky for election officials that voting rights advocates say it’s a process in name only.

Obviously men don’t face this problem. It’s a barrier that falls almost entirely on women. By design? Indifference? I’m not sure which is worse.

And we’ve seen this playbook before. Kansas tried it, but it took  years before the courts threw it out. Years the people affected couldn’t vote.

This isn’t theoretical. Of those 69 million, an estimated 21 million eligible voters don’t have the documents this bill requires.

21 million will be silenced in the midterms if the SAVE act passes.

Twenty-one MILLION.

The Senate has not yet voted on the SAVE Act. They are in debates now, there is still time. Flood your senators with calls. Both of them. You can find them at senate.gov. Call, don’t just email. Calls get counted differently. Tell them you know what this bill does to women. Tell them you're paying attention. Tell everyone you know.

The women in that Tehran photograph were not so different from us. They were educated. They were optimistic. They believed their country was moving in the right direction and that their progress was permanent.

We cannot afford to think that anymore.

Eyes open.

senate.gov

And if you don't have your birth certificate, your marriage license, a divorce decree (if needed), or a passport, it's time to get a certified copy, just in case. If SAVE passes, you will need a paper trail for every name change you've made after you were born.

Birth Certificate, $10-$30: vitalchek.com

Marriage Licenses, $10-$20:  The county clerk's office in the county where you were married. Many are now online. 

Divorce Decree: The clerk of court in the county where the divorce was finalized. Some states have online portals, others require an in-person or mail request. Can sometimes take weeks.

Passport: travel.state.gov. First time passport is $130-$165, renewal is $130. Current processing times have been running 6-8 weeks routine, 2-3 weeks expedited and expedited costs extra. 

You can see how, with everything being so expensive, some women will not be able to afford to get these documents and therefore will not be able to vote :-/ 

Learn more:

Official UN press release on status of CSW vote.

Amnesty International on status of CSW vote.

Show me your papers, Brennan Center on the SAVE Act.

Heritage Foundation's own data proves noncitizen voting is NOT a problem.

Brennan Center, noncitizen voting is ALREADY illegal and rare.

ACLU of Kansas about Kansas's version of the SAVE Act.

What life was like for Iranian women before the 1979 revolution.

•••

This is an AI-free newsletter! While I love to use AI to help me figure out a piece of software I don't understand, my intention is to use it to help me with the drudgery, never with writing, art, creation. All em dashes are intentional and mine, I was using them way before ChatGPT was a twinkle in Sam Altman's eye :-) 

••• 

Thank you for reading :-)

If a friend forwarded you this email, you can subscribe to my Saturday morning newsletter by clicking here.

It's moving time!

Hey everyone!

I've been working on a new website and blog together and it's up and running! All about the Mother Ranch, our crazy animals and funny things that happen over here as well as a new set of videos we are doing, starting with this one of the Rocket with her best friend Finn:

or you can find it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fvs4sh-zfQ&t=14s


Anyway, I hope you will follow me on over to my new place on the web:

https://www.themotherranch.com/

See you soon!

Julia

Thank you for your generosity!

We’re grateful to those in the Mother Ranch community who donated in 2018 to my work with special needs families—particularly families who have children with Developmental Trauma Disorder also known as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD.) Because of your generous donations we were able to provide nearly 100 low or no cost Gestalt coaching sessions to families who are financially tapped out due to this mental illness. We also held a RAD Mom Summer Camp Retreat in July for six moms—4 of which were able to attend because of the generosity of donors.

In 2019 we’d like to double those low or no cost coaching sessions for RAD families to 200 and hold 3 retreats for RAD moms. The retreats are 3 days long and held at the ranch. Included in each retreat: an ice breaking, giggling goat yoga class on the first day; a massage for each mom, daily group coaching with the horses facilitated by me; a group transformational breathwork session; all meals; and of course plenty of free time to enjoy each other, nap in the hammocks, or create some art in our big sunny art room. Lodging is camping onsite or nearby hotels. It’s a very special time for these moms, respite from a hard life with children who are emotionally and often physically abusive to their families.

If you are searching for a non-profit to donate to, look no further. Whether it’s for November 27th “Giving Tuesday” or an end of year donation, your tax deductible donation will be put to good use. Every dollar counts!

In 2017 we were  approved for fiscal sponsorship by Spirit Horse Alliance. They are considered an "umbrella non-profit" where people can donate to my work through them, they hold the non-profit status for me. They take 10% and everything else goes to helping RAD families.

Your donation will be to The White Horse Whispers, this is my original business name and the one still used for all of my work with RAD families.

Click here and donate to help more families in 2019!

Flashbacks and PTSD in RAD Moms

My son and I are fans of Dwayne Johnson although for distinctly different reasons ;-) We all went to see his newest movie called Skyscraper. All is well in my world, I'm happy, healthy, and I'm enjoying a movie in a cool theater on a hot summer day. Skyscraper is exactly what I expected from the trailer and I'm enjoying the fun. 

And then.

The movie was nearing the end. Dwayne Johnson, who plays a father named Will, and his daughter Georgia are caught at the very top of a burning skyscraper. He has pretty much moved mountains to get to his family who were caught in the inferno. He's managed to get his wife and son out of the building. But now, here he is, at the very tip top, fire surrounding them both. They're sitting on the floor, daughter between his knees and his arms wrapped around her. There is nowhere to go, end of the line. Holding her tight and kissing the top of her head, he says something along the lines of, "I'm sorry."

Cue unexpected PTSD flashback.

It's 2015. My daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) has been home for 6 years. My son and I are shells of our former selves and Brad and I fight every day. Brad and I are soul mates. We rarely fight. The occasional argument or disagreement but we don't scream at each other. Ever. We've been together many life times and we've pretty much got it down to a science. Boy has that changed.

Our 8 year old son is extremely depressed and is being forced (unbeknownst to us) into a teeny-tiny life by our daughter. 

We live in a domestic violence household except it's our 10 year old daughter who is the abuser. 

No one believes me.

(You can scroll on down to see all kinds of posts about RAD but this sums it up fairly quickly.)

I've tried everything I can think of to help her and even learned new and unusual ways of living life with her--always trying to help her heal. Some things will work for a short time. Some things make her worse. Still I try.

I tell myself, "I will never give up."

And yet...

Here I am, sitting on top of a skyscraper, my son in my arms, no where to go and the world on fire around me. 

Always I am in protection mode but as much as I am always, always "on" and head on a swivel, it is never enough to protect my family 100%. The abuse that is heaped on myself and those I love just flattens me.

There is nowhere for my daughter to go that will help her and that we can afford.

Divorcing the love of my life and taking our son with me wouldn't fix it--Brad doesn't believe that our daughter is a danger. If we split he will believe her lies and not protect our son from her abuse when they are at his house.

Suicide? In the back of my mind, but in reality, nope. There is no way I will leave my son with no protection.

Nothing can be done and no one believes me. I am helpless and hopeless. 

And so, eyes wide and full of fear at the raging inferno that no one else will see, I sit with my son wrapped in my arms, kiss his head and whisper, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I snap back. I'm sitting in the movie theater in July 2018. We are all safe: my husband and I have come through and are stronger than ever, my son is thriving, I am thriving, and my daughter is doing well in her home. I'm ok. I breathe in a deep breath. Blink. Touch my arms to my son's on my right and Brad's on my left. Breathe. In and out. I am right here. Safe right now. I feel my feet on the recliner and wiggle them around. I feel my skin touching my loved ones. I feel my breath. The movie comes back into focus. I'm here, in this moment. That was two and a half years ago. 

Nowadays, this doesn't happen very often and the length of time gets shorter as I learn to pull myself back into my body. I'm able to process what happened a little more each time, to put more words and feelings into the experience instead of sitting in stunned silence. Healing isn't a linear process but instead seems to jump around. I don't mind, I'm just glad there is movement! 

So, why do I tell you all this? Because RAD moms are often diagnosed with PTSD. Flashbacks can happen and it's okay to give yourself a break--whatever emotions you have about them are normal. AND also know, you aren't broken. You aren't damaged for life. You can heal. 

In the RAD Mom Summer Camp retreat in early July (a 3 day, all inclusive, healing retreat held at my ranch in Colorado, specifically for RAD moms) one of the shifts was from believing, "I will never get back to who I was before this trauma." to, "I am healing and becoming a new and better version of myself." 

Hi, I'm Julia and I'm a trauma-informed certified Equine Gestalt Coach, artist of 30 years, and Reiki Master. I combine my skills to create an individualized care plan for each client. As an adoptive mother of two (one with Reactive Attachment Disorder and one "glass child"), I am intimately familiar with the trials and tribulations RAD moms and their glass children face as they navigate the muddy waters of life with a mentally ill child. While I see many types of people in my practice, my heart and my specialty is the health and healing of RAD moms and their glass children. Learn more at The Mother Ranch.

If you have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder in your home and are feeling scared and alone, please join the facebook group called The Underground World of RAD. I am the admin/moderator, there are a few questions to answer and then you'll be added, lifted up, supported, and believed. 

Co-active coaching and the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method

One of the interesting things about the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method (EGC or EGCM) is that the style of coaching is different than some. It's called "co-active" and what that means is that I believe every client already has all of his/her answers lying within but often out of conscious awareness. One of my jobs is to assist my clients in finding their own answers.

Advice is easy to come by don't you think? It comes from all corners and we often feel bombarded by what other people think we should do. But really, how often does, "I think you should_____." feel good and true in our own bodies? There is sometimes an internal, "nope" feeling when we are given advice--it just doesn't fit. 

Every so often we end up at a place in life that is scary and uncertain. We feel desperate for answers and turn to friends and family to help us find them. That's when the "shoulds" start flying. Maybe we're desperate enough to try anything and we pick up a few shoulds, dust them off and try them on for size, "I don't know what else to do, maybe this will work." Even when desperate it can be difficult for us to implement the advice and have it make a positive difference in our lives--because it's not coming from within. 

Making assumptions that our stories are the same and that my way will work for you is a recipe for disaster and disconnection. 

So, what does all this mean? It means that I don't "fix" my clients. Instead, the horses, client, and I work together and find ways to tap into their internal wisdom (we all have it!) which is where we find the way through any situation or trauma we've endured. Through greater awareness, self-compassion, and Gestalt methodology we are able to find healing.

What is Equine Gestalt Coaching?

8 Ways to Help Families Who Have Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder

There is a horrific facebook video that the Post Institute put out recently. This is what they said:

Trigger warning! A friend of mine who is a teacher shared this. She shared it to help remind her fellow teachers of the source of distrust and reactivity of some students. 
It’s heartbreaking when we see with our eyes. There is benefit in allowing it to break your heart a little.

The video is from a nanny cam that was set up, and caught the nanny aka "a primary caregiver," throwing, beating, kicking, and stepping on a toddler. It is horrifying and I was immediately sobbing. The sharing of it by Post was to remind teachers (or clergy, friends of families who have a child with RAD, etc) why some children might be acting the way they are. It is not meant for families who have kids with RAD. We know (or suspect) what happened to make our kids the way they are. But maybe those family's tribes need to be graphically reminded why so many abused kids go on to abuse others.

Their facebook community was up in arms, furious that they would post such a horrendous thing. People were in tears, not understanding why they would put that out into the world.

I understand why they posted it--because people don't get it. Teachers don't get it. Churches don't get it. Family members don't get it. Friends don't get it. Unless you are a parent of a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) you don't fully understand the severity of a) what kind of abuse these kids might go through (not all kids with RAD were abused) and b) what might happen after (not all kids who were abused have RAD.)

My heart breaks for this child in the video and what this will likely do to her as she grows. It's very possible that she will never feel safe again--and then...how will she cope? Will she shut down and never return to who she is in her soul? Or will she heal and go on to change the world? 

My dream for her and all the others out there is that someone will scoop her up and hug her tight and that she will learn to accept that love, even want it, and go on to heal the world in her own way. I wish that for my own daughter who was hurt by someone before she came to us.

As parents of children with RAD we try scooping, loving, and connecting but it turns out, "just loving them more" and "more connection" isn't always enough--it can make some of these severely traumatized children more afraid and they lash out in even scarier ways.

Someone recently told me this: Let's say you are a child who has lived all of your life in a loving family. Suddenly, you are yanked out and placed in a meth house. Everyone tells you this new life is okay, how lucky you are. Therapists tell you this life is "normal."

See where I'm going with this? Now, let's say you're a kid from an abusive home. You've only ever known abuse. Your mother was abused while she was pregnant with you. Literally, from conception, you have only known abuse. Suddenly, you are yanked out and placed in a loving home. Everyone tells you this new life is okay, how lucky you are. Therapists tell you this life is "normal." How can anyone expect that these kids can just put it all behind them and move on into their new lives, accepting love and safety as the norm?

If only loving them was all that they needed. What happened to these children is so horrific that "just" love isn't enough. They need so much more help. If you are like most people, you want children to succeed. Your heart cries out when you hear the stories of abuse and neglect.

Your empathy is your strength--you can help! Let your heart cry and then learn more. There are so many ways to help families who have children with RAD. Here are 8 simple ways to help:

1. Listen. The next time a parent complains about their kid, just listen. No advice is needed (unless asked for.) You don't know what's going on in that house, even if you live in that house. Many fathers have no clue what's happening in their own home because the abuse doesn't happen when he's there.

2. Support. Help brainstorm. If you're given permission, share their story, ask for help. Start a gofundme so they can get the therapy they need--the whole family needs it, not just the child with RAD.

3. Share what you're learning with others. Tell the stories you've heard (but don't use names or locations.) Stories change lives. The people who love and trust you, will believe you. That belief spreads and makes a big difference in the lives of RAD families.

4. Accept that mental health is an issue that touches every family tree.

5. Set aside judgement. Just for today, set aside judgement when out in the world. Watch this and have a giggle :-)

6. Offer to take the child/ren with RAD so the parents can be with their other children for a few hours. 

7. Have extra money? (Yep, believe it or not, many people do!) Help out a family who has a child with RAD. Find people who work with RAD families and donate to them. Here are a few:

-RAD Advocates. 3 RAD moms started a nonprofit to help RAD families find the services they need.

-Discovery Horse. Sara is an amazing coach who works with children with RAD and RAD families using the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method and Natural Lifemanship principles. You can donate to her work by clicking here. Make sure you put "Discovery Horse" in the description box.

-The Mother Ranch. A RAD mom (Is it tacky for me to add myself? I've decided no! :-)) who supports RAD moms and glass children in their quest for healing trauma, using the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method and art therapy principles.

-Know others who help support RAD families? Good! Give to them!

8. If you are falling back on the old, "Kids are resilient--they'll bounce back no matter what happens to them," check out this study done by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente--it's all about ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and it's eye opening.

Parents of kids with RAD: You have the right to know your children's background and feel horrified and sad and angry...

and

you have the right to feel safe in your own home. Your other children and pets have the right to feel safe. Just because you understand the abuse that happened to your child with RAD doesn't mean that you have to accept abuse from your child with RAD.

I wish someone had told me this when I was in the trenches.

You and your entire family deserve to be safe. How that looks may or may not be what you expected.


Are you a RAD parent looking for support? Join the facebook group the Underground World of RAD We are a group of RAD parents and caregivers who insist on safe and nonjudgemental support. In-person groups spring out of this larger group all the time (those are the best!)

Are you a RAD mom looking for in-person support? Join the facebook group RAD Mom Summer Camp! Wishing you could just get away from it all and relax? This summer there are two camps held at my Colorado ranch!

Hi, I'm Julia and I'm a trauma-informed certified Equine Gestalt Coach, artist of 30 years, and Reiki Master. I combine my skills to create an individualized care plan for each client. As an adoptive mother of two (one with Reactive Attachment Disorder and one "glass child"), I am intimately familiar with the trials and tribulations RAD moms and their glass children face as they navigate the muddy waters of life with a mentally ill child. While I see many types of people in my practice, my heart and my specialty is the health and healing of RAD moms and their glass children. 
Learn more at The Mother Ranch.